Welcome to the third entry in the Sola Cepa one-year anniversary Mackinac Island onion ring extravaganza. Mackinac Island, though relatively small, is mostly unsettled parkland. Most of the actual things (hotels, houses, restaurants, the docks, etc.) are concentrated in the town on the south end of the island. As The Wife and I biked around the island one sunny Saturday (a necessary activity on any trip to Mackinac), I plotted out a stop at the only place to eat while circumnavigating the island.
Situated about halfway around the island, the place is a natural stop. I should have kept pedaling.
Here is a review of onion rings from Cannonball Inn & Catering on Mackinac Island.
Presentation and Appearance: (3/5)
In a first (so far) for the island, these onion rings are *not* the exact same frozen mishmash from Brew City. They are served in a brown patterned cardboard container - a slight cut above from plain coloration - though without the near-ubiquitous wax paper beneath. They are served in a large pile bulging out from the container.
Though I suspect the onion rings may still be frozen, they're enough variation in the batter to make me doubt it - as cracks and crevices are mottled throughout the rings. The rings are also inconsistently sized - and varying in color from a pale golden brown to a darkened copper. At first glance, this indicates an inconsistent fry time - possibly two separate batches combined. All told, they look fairly inoffensive.
Taste: (0/5)
Beyond a thin veneer of grease, these onion rings had literally no flavor whatsoever. There was no seasoning, a completely bland batter, and even the onions tasted like a mushy, flavorless paste - the type of bland sludge I imagine they would serve on an interstellar voyage in a dystopian future. The best comparison I can make for the taste of these onion rings is a particularly bland variety of cardboard, surrounding a ring of moistened paper.
Even after biking for a few miles, and having worked up something of an appetite in the process, these onion rings did absolutely nothing for me. They provided no flavor, no sustenance, and no joy. I could feel anger building as I tried to shovel them down before wisely abandoning the prospect - though remained intrigued by a food that offered less flavor than a particularly white piece of iceberg lettuce. For the first time in my entire time writing review of onion rings, I was literally unable to finish eating them.
Texture: (0.5/5)
In another feat of onion ring engineering, these onion rings had a texture that was simultaneously overcooked and cold. The batter was much too crunchy, and it felt more like gnawing through a hunk of wood than biting into an onion ring. Though the coloration would suggest not every onion ring would be overcooked, they were. They were also dry, sans the previously mentioned veneer of grease.
I suspect that the overcooking was what led to the complete removal of any sense of flavor from the onion, though there was a hint of texture remaining. Though heated to within an inch of its existence, the onion interior was bizarrely cold. Given the wait time, I had assumed these were made to order, but the only possible explanation I can have for them being freezing and overcooked simultaneously is that they had waited in a bin somewhere for an hour or two before I arrived.
Value: (2.5/5)
Despite the complete absence of flavor and the almost inedible texture, both which I suspect were brought about by an excessive cook time, I still think these onion rings are a pretty good value. The whole basket was $4.50, an astronomically low price for Mackinac Island - probably equivalent to a $2 thing of frozen, poorly prepared onion rings on the mainland. My high evaluation of the value no doubt partially stems from the absurd prices for other frozen rings back in town.
That said, they were close to inedible, I couldn't bring myself to finish them, and they are a memory best buried.
Total: (6/20)
UPDATE: I received the following notice from the owner in response to this review (posted on Google Maps): "Sorry you didn't enjoy, after reading your novel I have come to the conclusion that you need psychiatric help. Enjoy your time on the island."
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