The Mason Jar (Colorado Springs, CO)

Dedication to craft often takes the form of sacrifice. Artists suffer in order that they may produce great, emotional, visceral works of art. Entrepreneurs labor and struggle for years to earn a profit through creating value for others as a result of voluntary, mutually beneficial transactions.

Humble onion ring reviewers, of which there are at least one (it's me), spend an uncomfortable amount of their free time exhaustively researching new restaurants, even while, say, prepping for a cross-country trip, all for the purpose of consuming and reviewing more and more onion rings. I do it all for you, dear readers.

Here's a review of onion rings from The Mason Jar in Colorado Springs.

Presentation and Appearance: 4/5

The white, ceramic bowl immediately proves that the presentation of these onion rings is a cut above the norm. A healthy mound of onion rings surrounds a ramekin of creamy ranch dipping sauce, and the whole concoction rests on a mound of red cabbage, which is certainly a first.

In another unique approach to the onion ring, the rings are delicately hand breaded, and fried to an almost perfect light brown. The non-industrialized, artisanal breading speaks well to the potential taste and quality to come.

My only complaint with these onion rings is one that plagues many hand-made rings; the inconsistent covering on the onions. The batter misses more than a few handfuls of spots, leaving a glistening red onion interior shining out.

Taste: 3.5/5

The red onions were what attracted me to The Mason Jar as a stop in my limited in the Springs. Though I love all varieties of onion, I've always had a certain fondness for the flavors and aromas of the red onion. In all my time reviewing onion rings, I've never had one made with red onions.

Imagine my disappointment when, instead of the crisp and sharp flavors of a red onion, I was met with a remarkably plain and mild standard onion taste. There was perhaps a little more zest than in a normal white onion, and certainly more than a sweet onion, but I was certainly expecting more. This may perhaps be caused by the relatively thin cut of the red onion within.

The breading, which I was delighted to see was done by hand, delivered a stronger flavor. It was well seasoned with salt and spices, along with a tolerably mild amount of grease. This mixed with the admittedly mild red onion flavor to deliver a cohesive and zesty combination.

As a final note, the ranch dipping sauce upped the zing to another level. The flavors were surprisingly strong, while simultaneously not overwhelming, and provided a solid accompaniment to the onion rings.

Texture: 5/5

The highlight of this dish is the delicate breading, applied by hand with what I can only assume to be extensive love and care. The subtly and solid crunch that it provides makes for an evocative experience on one's taste buds. The red onions, meanwhile, are soft, but not to the point of being nothing more than mush. I suspect part of the reason for their softness is the thin cut of the ring.

The combination of the soft onion and the not-too-hard breading leads these onion rings to almost literally melt in your mouth, with a juicy, buttery finish. These onion rings are a curious mixture of the hard and the soft, erring much more towards soft, small, and smooth. After what seems like eons of eating nothing but beer-battered onion rings, they are a welcome change of pace.

Value: 3.5/5

$6.79 yielded a large bowl of hand-made red onion rings for me and my girlfriend, sufficing as an excellent lead-in to our meals. They were tasty, filling, melt-in-your-mouth, and as all appetizers should be, they were simply appetizing.

However, for the steep price, I would have hoped for a few more onion rings, and these were a bit over the value I think their quantity and quality warrants.

Total: 16/20

Jack In The Box (Everywhere)

As I awoke on my last day in Colorado Springs, with a flight time mere hours away, I was struck with a sense of vast urgency. I couldn't let all these opportunities to taste a myriad, a practical cornucopia, of onion rings, pass me by. Allegra was kind enough to drive me on a whistle-stop tour throughout Colorado Springs, as I eagerly looked up any fast food venue absent, or scarce, in my native home, desperate to taste the circular goodness that is the onion ring.

Here's a review of onion rings from Jack In The Box, at a Colorado Springs location.

Presentation and Appearance: 4/5

Listed on the menu as Panko breaded, my mind conjured up an image reminiscent of the quasi-covered onion rings from House of Yakitori, just down the road. when I opened the delightful carton, I was pleasantly surprised to see a relatively consistent coating of Panko bread. The presentation of the onion rings was surprisingly good for a fast food enterprise, with a sealed container to ensure freshness, heat, and no spillage within any bag or travel, and the onion rings were stacked appealingly within. 

There were some problems with the inconsistency of the breading, as might be expected with Panko, but the coating of breadcrumbs did give a pleasantly bumpy appearance, with hills and valleys of breading resembling the Rocky Mountains surrounding me. They were golden brown and seemed imbued with sheer exuberance, and were nicely of a relatively uniform size. 

Taste: 3/5

A greasy, breaded, fried onion is perhaps the best encapsulation of an onion ring. Taste-wise, the onions are the star of this dish, with my first bite revealing a surprising amount of onion flavor. The breading is tasty, but it's not terribly well-seasoned. All I really get is more than a dash of grease, and less than a dash of salt.

Possibly as a consequence of the Panko breading, these onion rings are unusually dry, even with the grease, which detracts from their overall taste.

Texture: 2.5/5

In a stunning reverse of the above, but in a way that shouldn't be surprising given the prominence of the Panko, the breading has the superior texture of these onion rings. The crumbs were fried just long enough to make the breading the ideal level of hardness. They were crunchy without being too hard, and had enough give to make a pleasant sound to the ears, and a pleasant sensation on the teeth, as the chomps reverberated through my cranium.

Unfortunately, the onion rings had far more slippage than was ideal, and on the majority of occasions, the onion slid out from the breading, leading me to functionally eat some sauteed onions with a pile of breadcrumbs. As it was since time immemorial, hubris was the downfall of these onion rings, as the shiny edifice of Panko collapsed under its own weight.

The onion texture, when present, was acceptable. They were surprisingly thin cuts of of onion, especially given the size of the onion rings, and left something to be desired. What was present, however, was good, not too mushy nor too raw.

Value: 4/5

For a mere $2.99, seven medium sized onion rings awaited me in a pleasant carton, prepared quickly and tastily. For the price, the quantity of the onion rings was terrific, and the quality, while not perfect, was a cut above the norm for fast food. I would have liked a few more, and a bit less slippage, but the value was great regardless.

Total: 13.5/20

Golden Flame Hot Wings (Colorado Springs, CO)

Though I appreciate a nice hot wing, my heart has always been devoted to another fried delight, the onion ring. I felt a craving for chicken wings that I hadn't felt in many moons recently, but I realized it represented yet another opportunity to subject onion rings to the stringency of the Onion Ring Standard.

Thank you to Allegra for again accompanying me on my quest. Here's a review of onion rings from Golden Flame Hot Wings in Colorado Springs. 

Presentation and Appearance: 3.5/5

The carton, while being a slightly different red and white pattern from most red and white patterned cartons, was fairly standard, as was the paper separating the rings from the carton. As is so often the case with presentation, it was nothing special, nothing egregious. 

Dark brown batter of varying shades coats the onion rings, running the gamut from golden-brown to the shade of the mountains and foothills surrounding me as I glance out the window. The darker shaded onion rings have a tendency to mask inconsistent battering, making them look more evenly coated than they are. 

Taste: 3.5/5

These onion rings were fairly modal in most aspects, such as size, consistency, and taste. As suggested by the darkened batter on the onion rings, they may have spent a little too much time in the fryer. That extra time did lead to some marked improvements in taste, however, most prominently featuring a hearty dose of onion juices unleashed by the fryer. 

The overcooked nature of the rings also led to a little less grease on the onion rings themselves, another plus, though it comes at the expense of a proper fry time. Beyond that, the breading has a pleasant and mildly seasoned taste, which is somewhat overshadowed by some of the other problems. 

Texture: 2.5/5

My initial impressions of the texture of these rings were positive on most fronts. The onions were in the middle ground between raw and mushy, and the batter was hard and crisp. Further reflection, however, revealed that the texture of these onion rings was only the result of overcooking. 

Occasional slippage helped reveal this fact, as did the minute space between batter and onion. While the texture had its positive attributes, most were only a result of cooking them near to the point of burning, as though some good onion rings were made and then heaped into a fire and then reluctantly fished out and plated to unsuspecting customers. 

Value: 3.5/5

A modest sized basket of these beer-battered onion rings was $4.99. For the price, I felt the quantity was lacking, though the taste and texture were about par for the course, barring the problems with being overdone. 

Total: 13/20

House of Yakitori (Colorado Springs, CO)

I believe the onion ring is a dish that can transcend borders, language, and culture. It is but one of many manifestations of the cosmopolis of markets and exchange that tie the world together. The circular nature of the onion ring may even be thought of as representing the inherent ties between and among all men and women on this earth.

The onion rings from the House of Yakitori encapsulate the culinary ties that bind us together, providing a Japanese twist on a Western classic. 

Presentation and Appearance: 3.5/5

The presentation and plating of these onion rings is ornate and modern, while simultaneously evoking a sense of fond comfort. Rather than the traditional heap, they are delicately balanced across the long plate, giving me pause before diving in, lest I collapse the intricacy before me. 

A loose coating of Panko breading covers the large and thick cut onions, resembling a growth of some mysterious substance across the surface of the onion rings. This perception is magnified by the inconsistent coating, with the white onions on high display. Despite the mess, there's something charming about the Panko breading, and they make the onion rings seem light and airy. 

Taste: 3/5

The overwhelming flavor of these onion rings is simply onion. Between the large and thick cut of the onions themselves, coupled with the light and patchy coating, really lets the flavor of the onion shine. These were lightly fried just long enough to unleash the delicious juices of the onion. 

The breading, however, failed to provide any substantial taste. The overwhelming taste of these onion rings was nothing more, or less, than onions and grease. The accompanying dipping sauce, presumably some sort of ranch, was creamy and well seasoned, which did further develop some flavors in the onion. 

Texture: 2.5/5

The delicate onion rings were light, and had a tendency to crumble if exposed to too much pressure. I blame this primarily on the scarce breading, which did not cover the whole of the rings, and what was there wasn't on all that tight. 

I've written voluminously in the past on the dread of "slippage", wherein the onions fall out of the batter and the parts of the onion ring separate. This is the first time I've ever encountered the opposite, where bites often led to the breading falling off, with only the onion remaining. I've dubbed this problem "shedding", and these Panko rings fall prey to this new dilemma routinely. 

As mentioned above, the thick onions that make up the core of the onion ring make for a solid bite. They are thick without being underdone, and juicy without being overcooked. The Panko breading, where present, provides a solid crunch, with a surprisingly good consistency. 

Value: 4/5

$2.65 buys a medium sized plate of surprisingly large onion rings, which more than sufficed as a shared appetizer for me and my girlfriend before our Yakitori. I would have liked a bit more breading to truly make these onion rings, rather than fried onions with a light Panko coating. 

Total: 13/20

Tucanos Brazilian Grill (Colorado Springs, CO)

Among the many vacation activities I've taken in Colorado Springs to date, up to and including driving up what I considered to be a mountain, but was later informed it was a "small foothill" of "only" 8,000 feet or so, I was treated to a late birthday dinner by my girlfriend, Allegra. Despite being a Brazilian grill, Tucanos seemed to my American mind like a beautiful dream, where staff wandered about with various skewered meats and served them to your table every few minutes, with a massive and fully stocked salad bar.

In addition to eating enough calories for the next three days or so, we split an order of the Onion Tropical, the closest thing I could find to onion rings at Tucanos Brazilian Grill.

Presentation and Appearance: 3.5/5

Given that I've never heard of a "tropical onion" before, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. Per the menu, they are "seasoned sweet onion straws", which are functionally chopped up onion rings, of variate size and thickness. The presentation is not necessarily neat, but I don't think it's intended to be. Various mounds of the onion straws surround a central bowl (of tropical mango dipping sauce), with a mystery powder substance on top, (which my dinner companion later correctly identified as parmesan.)

The festive platter is fitting for the venue, makes for an inviting dish, and facilitates easy sharing. The appearance of the onion straws, while interesting, do lack a certain consistency in batter covering, and the variate size can make the appearance a little messy. They are certainly exciting, but they do lack a certain quality of refined presentation.

Taste: 4.5/5

I was already a bit disoriented when the tropical onion straws arrived, perhaps by the copious amounts of various Brazilian meat dishes that had already come to the table. The unusual presentation only increased my uncertainty: what would these taste like?

Most good onion rings have a strong onion flavor as a necessary component of the taste. These tropical onion straws, however, had an incredibly mild onion taste, a reflection of the sweet onions they were made from. Further exploration revealed that every component of the plate, from the batter, to the thick mango glaze, to the gentle sprinkling of parmesan and other sweet and savory bits on top of the straws, were deliberately structured to provide a cohesive taste.

That taste was sweet, which floored me. Onion rings are typically a greasy and a savory dish, two things which I love, but this was neither. Though there was some grease, as is to be expected with anything fried, the taste was overpowered by the strength of the sweet onions and the batter. The accompanying tropical mango sauce was thick and syrupy, almost like a glaze, and dripped and slid slowly down each straw on consumption.

Tucanos has revealed an entirely new world of fried onions to me, revealing an inner sweetness (through the sweet onions) that I never thought possible. The Tropical Onion was billed as an appetizer, but in truth, I would consider this an excellent dessert. Somehow, they have devised a way to turn fried onions into a mild and sweet dessert dish, displaying an entirely new dimension in the constantly evolving world of fried onion concoctions.

I've docked a half a point solely for inconsistency in flavor that resulted from the variation in cut and thickness of the sweet onions.

Texture: 3.5/5

As alluded to above, these had a soft and flaky texture, almost pastry like, which contributed to my classification of this dish as a dessert, rather than a traditional appetizer. Despite the softness, the batter still delivered a sufficient crunch, without being mind-blowing. There were no instances of slippage, but I believe the choice of onion straws made this an easy task to fulfill.

That said, the flakiness of the batter often led to bits and crumbles falling off on consumption, an unfortunate consequence of the bold experiments of flavor.

Value: 5/5

For a mere $4.99, we received a truly massive platter of the onion straws. For what may be a Sola Cepa first, we were completely unable to finish the full plate, which is certainly a consequence of the massive amounts of other food we ate that night.

That said, I can think of no complaints for either the quantity of the tropical onion straws we received that night, and it was worth every penny.

Total: 16.5/20

Carl's Jr. (Everywhere)

I have always intended Sola Cepa to be a project of national scope, criss-crossing the United States in search of onion ring perfection. While on vacation to visit my girlfriend and her family in Colorado Springs, I saw a perfect opportunity to dramatically expand the geographic diversity and scope of Sola Cepa, and immediately set about on a plan of attack and engagement with a number of eateries in the region who had onion rings.

I did, however, start small. Here's a review of onion rings from Carl's Jr. from a Colorado Springs location. Thank you to Jack Shannon for the suggestion.

Presentation and Appearance: 2/5

While I haven't reviewed any fast-food onion rings in many moons, I'm familiar enough with the scene to know the standard protocol, and the presentation for the onion rings from Carl's Jr. fits the bill. A haphazardly filled and strewn cardboard container, resting atop a plastic tray, is literally overflowing with the onion rings. The plating is characteristically rushed, and undertaken without great care, but, again, I know what the standard for fast food places are. 

The appearance of the onion rings is a mixed bag. Most onion rings in the box have some deformity or another, typically a cracked of fraying batter, with pale shadows of onions shining from deep within the recesses of the box. Their structural integrity, even at this cursory glance, seems to be clearly unstable. A handful of rings were solid, consistent, and not cracked, but this was not the norm. 

Taste: 3/5

The breading for onion rings is often a tricky thing to get right, particularly in terms of flavor and seasoning. Many restaurants throw in the towel and substitute flavor for copious amounts of grease, desperately masquerading as the flavor that onion ring lovers so badly need.

Not so with Carl's Jr. The batter on these onion rings had extraordinary seasoning, characterized by bold and daring flavor. With nary a hint of excessive grease (which did make the onion rings more than a little dry), my first bite revealed healthy doses of salt, pepper, and hints of something greater and more elaborate. This coating was among the finest seasoned onion rings I've had the pleasure to sample, which is a mark in its favor.

Unfortunately, the onion didn't measure up with the strength of the batter. As I could already tell from the cracked batter, the onions were paper-thin, nearly translucent, and with a weak ,underwhelming flavor to match. For all the flavor of the breading, I failed to detect hardly a hint of onion flavor within.

The accompanying ranch sauce perks up the onion rings more than a bit, with the cooler ranch flavors serving as a fitting complement to the bold spices of the onion rings. Anecdotally, I'm almost certain that this is the exact recipe of ranch dipping sauce that Wendy's used one or two iterations of ranch sauce ago, but I can't be certain. 

Texture: 2.5/5

As with taste, the texture is a bizarrely mixed bag. The breading had a robust and satisfying crunch, which was maintained under heavy scrutiny (and chewing). Unfortunately, this is the high-mark of the texture. 

The mostly non-existent onions had a weak texture, as would be expected. Most rings had barely a sliver of onion in tem, and those that did fell prey to an impressive amount of slippage, facilitated by the already half-disintegrated onion ring batter. I occasionally got bites of onions that were tough and yellowed, as though fried to so great an extent that they passed the overcooked and mushy stage of the onion all the way into sheer petrification. 

Value: 4/5

For $2.99, my girlfriend and I dined on an overflowing carton of onion rings as a sufficiently filling side for our $5 box. There was a fairly large quantity of decently sized onion rings, at a more than fair price. 

Total: 11.5/20

Cousin's Tasty Chicken (Grand Rapids, MI)

I've driven past Cousin's Tasty Chicken hundreds of times in the past two years, but never bothered to step inside. Sola Cepa is both a passion and a calling, as well as an excuse to wander into random restaurants near my house and eat onion rings. Each venture is yet another opportunity of wonder and discovery, or one for a ruinous defeat. It's naught but a spin of the dice, or a gamble between the red and the black. But either way, one always gets to eat onion rings.

Here's a review of onion rings from Cousin's Tasty Chicken.

Presentation and Appearance: 3/5 

As might be expected, the presentation of these onion rings is basic and no-frills. Resting atop a small cardboard tub, within a larger styrofoam box, they are heaped haphazardly into a pile. When I opened the box, a couple of rings had slid out of the box into the (delicious) spicy chicken tenders, but that could have been my own lack of care in transporting the goods. There was no paper lining covering the cardboard, which is a bit outside the norm, but I didn't miss it.

The appearance of the onion rings is, similarly, nothing special, nothing awful. The batter is reasonably consistent, but a close examination reveals some minor splotches and gaps in the batter, and some extra crumbles mixed around. While this always speaks well to the quality of the onion rings (in terms of a clearer sign of hand-battered and home made), it does cause some problems in the appearance.

Taste: 4/5

I should preface this by saying my onion rings weren't piping hot, as I'd ordered them for pick-up some time in advance of my coming, but I can hardly fault Cousin's Tasty Chicken for that.

The onion rings weren't overly greasy, and indeed, were hardly greasy at all. My first tentative bite revealed a vivid and surprising amount of juicy, strong onion flavor. The onions may well have been seasoned before they were fried, or else the fry time was just sufficient to give them a good burst of flavor with each bite. They were tasty, without being overwhelming.

The batter, likewise, was well seasoned. It wasn't mind-blowing, but it did add a pleasant layer of flavor on-top of the already present juicy onions. The accompanying ranch sauce was fairly overpowering, and any dips completely overshadowed the more subtle flavors of the onion rings, and was not especially complementary.

Texture: 3.5/5

While the onions had a wonderfully juicy taste, it came at the expense of the occasionally mushy, overdone onion within. While they weren't the norm, even a few in a small batch of onion rings can be detrimental to the experience. The same applies to slippage. Although it was only two or three times, proportionally, it's extreme.

Besides the bouts of slippage, however, the batter had an excellent texture. The integrity of the ring remained even when manipulated or squeezed for consumption, with the exception the dreaded slippage alluded to above. It was soft, with more of a subtle pop than a loud crunch, as my teeth split into the pocket of air between the onion and the batter.

Value: 5/5

For a reasonably sized portion of good tasting, well-textured onion rings, I only paid $1.99, which is practically a steal. While they weren't perfect, and I could almost always use more onion rings, I'd be hard pressed to say they're anything but a top-notch value.

Total: 15.5/20

Jonny B'z (Grand Rapids, MI)

Over the past week, my spigot of onion ring passion has been tapped, and out flows a voluminous portion of reviews, commentary, and wisdom on all things onion ring. I even deigned to take my precious break for lunch at work to journey to an as-of-yet-to-be-reviewed locale, with my colleague and Sola Cepa regular Patrick Oetting, where I sampled an entirely new (to me) variety of onion ring: haystack onion rings.

Here's a review of onion rings from Jonny B'z.

Presentation and Appearance: 3/5

The presentation of these haystack onion rings as as classic as it is ubiquitous; a mound sprawled out to fill a black plastic basket topped with a checkered red and white paper. While not ground-breaking, it is pleasant, and ties into the essential ethos of the onion ring culinary arts. 

The appearance is, generally, a mixed bag. Unknown to me when I placed my order, haystack onion rings are characterized by a remarkably thin and small cut of onion. The standard onion ring, whether breaded or battered, is characterized by some of the largest rings able to formed from a standard sized onions, appropriately hand-held and rarely able to be consumed in a single bite. 

These haystack onion rings, on the contrary, were remarkably small and numerous, intermingling into a gloriously tangled web of fried onion, where one could easily eat multiple rings in a single bite.The sheen on the top of the pile indicated that they had come fresh out of the fryer, as the grease was permeating throughout the basket. 

While I admired the spirit of the onion rings' appearance, the inconsistent execution was its downfall. Beneath the top of the web was a wasteland of shattered and broken onion pieces, whether burnt, overcooked, or simply fallen off due to excess batter. 

This is perhaps the biggest weakness of the haystack onion rings; a characteristic lack of structural integrity which makes the service, plating, and consumption a logistical complexity that man may never live to untangle. 

Taste: 2.5/5

My eyes did not deceive me when I observed the glistening grease on my platter, these onion rings were indeed hot, fresh, and greasy. For the more complete (and comparatively thicker) rings at the top of the pile, I got a surprisingly robust taste onion taste, for the thickness and size of the cut, at least. Generally, they were fairly weak, but packed an out sized punch. 

Beyond the meager onion taste, the only other flavors in the ring were an all-encompassing deluge of grease and salt. Now, grease and salt are pleasant to eat, and are the mainstays of any fried diet, particularly with the onion ring, but this haystack variety had them to an unpleasant excess, with no other subtleties of flavor to break up the monotony of the pillars of salt. In short, they were pleasantly addictive at the time, but the lack of depth (and the hours of heartburn after) cost them some serious points. 

In addition, the fragmentation of the rings mentioned above led this to be, by about halfway through the dish, to become more of a "pile of bits of fried onions" moreso than a true onion ring. 

I will point out that there were a variety of complementary barbecue sauces in squeeze bottles on the table, which gave the onion rings a pleasant and spicy vinegar kick, and added some much needed moisture back into the rings, which were completely absent the crucial onion juices that make an onion ring so good. 

Texture: 2.5/5

I will give the haystack onion rings credit where credit is due. These were, without a doubt, the crunchiest onion rings I have ever had. There was hardly a hint of juices, and for much of the basket, hardly a hint of onion texture, or presence, at all. 

The crunchy, crunchy breading completely overpowered all other textures in the rings, making it more like a collection of onion bits and better that perhaps were once an onion ring rather than a true onion ring. 

Value: 3/5

For all the guff I've given these haystack onion rings above, I truly think they were a reasonably good value. For $4, I got a huge basket that more than sufficed for a filling lunch when I stepped out of the office.

Most of the problems in taste and appearance can be accounted for by inconsistency and structural problems within the haystack onion rings themselves, that is, their thinness and relative structural weakness. I applaud Jonny B'z for experimenting in new methods of delivery for fried onion concoctions, but I think these rings still have some kinks to work out.

Total: 11/20