Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Saucy Dog's Barbecue (Jonesville, MI)

I would probably pay a king's ransom for onion rings this good. Thankfully, I don't have to.
My philosophy of restaurant quality (also called the Onion Ring Standard) took some time to develop, but it first began here, at Saucy Dog's Barbecue in Jonesville, MI. I went there with a friend on a whim my freshman year of college, and decided to try the onion rings. I was blown away. Every time I have returned, I got the onion rings again and again. Simply put, these are the best onion rings I have ever had.


Presentation and Appearance - 4.5/5

When I think of an onion ring, there are usually at least two images that come to mind. The first is a thin, crispy, somewhat refined breaded strip of onion. The second type is like these onion rings: thick, a little rustic, and almost meaty in its appearance. The batter on the onion is smooth. The bubbles and crumbs that interrupt this smoothness lend to it an air of authenticity and charm, one that feels completely genuine. These onion rings feel like a perfect representation of the restaurant they come from, and that is to their strength.

I've docked half a point for presentation for two reasons. One, the size of the basket is just a bit too small. The mass of onion rings, while heaping and appetizing, has a tendency to spill out over the edges. Second, one onion ring was dropped off the basket and landed on the table just before they got to me. I ate it anyway, but it's not a great feeling.

Taste - 5/5

I don't even know where to begin. The batter was smooth, almost buttery and creamy, and delicious. There weren't a tremendous amount of seasonings in the batter, but the subtle flavor was a strength. The inner onion, meanwhile, was unique among onion rings. It was lightly sweated/sauteed prior to being dipped and fried. This gives it a light, not overpowering, flavor of onion throughout the ring. The batter and the onion meld in a delicious, slightly greasy, blend. They are a seamless, tasty whole.

A brief word on the accompanying dipping sauce. While often the sauce accompanying the onion ring is a poorly masked attempt to hide the poor flavor of an onion ring underneath a deluge of sauce, these sauce is the perfect complement to these onion rings. I would be hard pressed to find anything I'd rather dip these rings in. I have nothing bad to say about the taste of these rings.

Texture - 4.5/5 

The texture on the batter is near perfection. Firm without being too hard, smooth without being too rich, it is a beautiful medium between all extremes. My only complaint comes with the irregular cooking of some of the breading (the bits and crumbs that disturb the overall smoothness), which were good, but not necessarily consistent with the rest of the onion ring.

The onion is interesting and unique, as noted in the taste section. The lightly sweated/sauteed onion could go disastrously wrong, with the onion becoming a mushy paste, and not firm enough to hold shape. This is not the case here. The sweating gives it just enough give to be soft and smooth, but it has sufficient firmness to hold the shape of the ring together. The best part of the texture is that there's just enough contrast between the batter and the onion to know there's a difference, but they complement each other perfectly.

Value - 5/5

A basket of these onion rings (as an appetizer) costs $5.49, and it is worth every penny. They aren't incredibly expensive (indeed, they're practically cheap by most restaurant standards), but you get what you pay for, and more. While the heaping basket has some presentation flaws, it lets the eater know they're getting a tremendous amount of delicious, thick, huge golden brown onion rings.

Total: 19/20

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Bon Appétit (Hillsdale, MI)

My day was a bit weird today. As I was in a computer lab, trying desperately to understand MATLAB as I poured my soul into a Math Modeling project, I received not one, but TWO messages from people urging me to go to the cafeteria (serviced by Bon Appétit) ASAP. Why? They had onion rings.

My project called me, but I knew that duty would call when I started Sola Cepa. And so, I did what I had to do.


Presentation and Appearance - 3/5

As to be expected from mass-prepared food in a college cafeteria, these weren't exactly the fanciest in presentation. Unceremoniously heaped onto my plate, some of the onion rings were cracked and broken before I even touched them.

The appearance, however, was generally pretty good (besides the cracked rings). A fairly smooth, consistent breading covered all of the rings, and those that remained whole held their shape well.

Taste - 3/5

Unsurprisingly, the breading was bland and flavorless. Surprisingly, the inner onion packed a tremendous punch in terms of flavor. It tasted, well, like an onion! A strong one, at that. That said, these onion rings were sort of a one flavor pony. It was pretty much just onion. A good onion taste, but standing alone, it left something to be desired. The rings were also room temperature at best, cold at worst. That's not an ideal temperature for onion rings.

I suspect these rings were a bit undercooked, and prepared well in advance of my arrival.

More points are awarded for the accompanying ranch sauce, which somehow oozed life into the bland breading and made these onion rings a bit more enjoyable to eat.

Texture - 2/5

While the onions were flavorful, they were also soft, and mushy. While it's theoretically possible to have a good soft onion ring, it's rare, and difficult to pull off. While the breading was smooth and consistent, it was not especially crispy. It was more hard than anything else.

The texture of the breading was just...off. The potential undercooked nature of the ring only contributed to it. The texture was almost certainly that of a mass produced ring, and I would be shocked if these were made in house.

Value - 1/5

In order to enter the cafeteria (operated by Bon Appétit), I had to swipe my meal card. Averaged out over a semester, my meal plan costs approximately $17 a meal. In other words, I paid $17 to eat a plate of mediocre onion rings.

If I'm paying $17 for onion rings, I expect a mound of gourmet onion rings with accompanying fireworks, mind-blowing taste, and perfectly fried. These onion rings were not that.

I've awarded one point to the value category, solely because I could theoretically eat as many onion rings as I wanted (as the cafeteria is on an all-you-can-eat model). However, the amount of these onion rings I would have to eat to get my money's worth would probably make me vomit or pass out.

Total: 9/20

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Arby's (Everywhere)

I'm sure some of you are thinking "Man, this guy only reviews cheap onion rings. How can I trust the strength of his palate?" Besides the fact that you're being pretty demanding for a blog that exclusively reviews onion rings, I have a method to my madness. Nationwide chains (like Arby's or Burger King) have the broadest market, and my goal is to help as many onion ring lovers around the world as I can.

So, here's a review of onion rings from Arby's.



Presentation and Appearance - 3/5

Presentation is typical for that of fast food onion rings: jammed into an overflowing carton. The appearance is, in a word, unique. The breading is chunky, and sharp. Though somewhat abnormal for an onion ring (and perhaps not as pleasing pleasing as a smooth, refined breading), it strangely works. The rings themselves are pleasantly large as well. 

The worst part of these rings is the scourge of onion ring lovers everywhere; when the onion slips out of the breading, separating the two essential components of an onion ring. Though it only occurred occasionally, the dreaded slipping onion cheapens the entire eating experience. 

Taste - 3/5

The taste is nothing remarkable, but still pleasant. The initial bite for each onion ring is a burst of flavor, both in the breading and the onion itself. The onion is cooked at almost the exact right amount to create flavor while simultaneously maintaining a firm shape. The breading is pleasantly crunchy, though without a particularly strong seasoning. 

Subsequent bites are a bit of a letdown. The breading does not have a long lasting flavor, but the aftertaste is pleasant in the mouth. A light greasiness permeates the rings throughout, but nothing horrible or excessive. The accompanying ranch sauce complements the onion rings well, enhancing the flavor rather than masking it. 

Texture - 3.5/5

Without a doubt, the texture is the highlight of these onion rings. The breading is irregular and crunchy, with a unique mouth feel. The onions are almost uniformly firm (one in my carton was a bit mushy, but the rest had no issues), and the integrity of the onion ring held together, with a few exceptions. 

Value - 4/5

Though the rings themselves are fairly inexpensive (about $2.50), and relatively good quality, I wish there were more. It's a perfectly appropriate amount for a side dish, but eaten alone, the quantity leaves something to be desired. 

That said, I'd be hard pressed to find onion rings of this quality for the same price anywhere else. The Arby's onion rings are a good value, but probably work best accompanying a sandwich rather than a solo dish. 

Overall: 13.5/20

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Burger King (Everywhere)

Sometimes, in my pursuit of onion ring perfection, I arrive at fast food. Convenient, quick, and (often) dirt cheap, how does it weigh up on the onion ring standard? Today, I review Burger King's onion rings. Though I got them at a location in Hillsdale, Michigan, these rings are (obviously) the same at every Burger King franchise.



Presentation and Appearance - 2/5

As might be expected from a $2 box of onion rings, these aren't the prettiest in the world. Small, with irregular breading and even shape, their appearance leaves much to be desired. Presentation is typical for fast food; dramatically overflowing from a small container. That said, it does give one the sense of being overwhelmed by the sheer volume of onion ring.

Besides the previous issues with appearance, many of the rings are broken and crumbled in the box. While this is not an issue for taste, it is not especially pleasing to the eye. The breading is very light, almost too light. The rings themselves practically disintegrate in the face of a light breeze, much less the slight grip one needs to pick them up and eat them.

Taste - 2.5/5 

These are not high end onion rings.The onion taste is hardly there. Almost all of what I'm tasting is the breading, which itself is not that bad, almost a bit spicy. At a certain point, though, it's more like eating fried dough than an onion ring. The accompanying "Zesty" sauce (of which they me gave a generous portion of TWO packs) dramatically improves the taste, but at a certain point, the ring simply becomes a vehicle for the sauce.

Texture - 2/5

On the surface, these onion rings seem to have a good texture. And I mean that literally. The breading is crisp, and shatters with a satisfying crunch as you chew. However, the onion interior is soft and mushy, almost gooey. A good onion ring should have a little give, but there should be enough there to hold the shape of a crunchy ring together. Burger King fails in this regard.

Value - 4.5/5

For all the faults these onion rings may have, they're pretty much on par with what you pay. If I spend $2.44 on a big box of rings, I'm not expecting gourmet quality. So, what you pay is what you get. If anything, they're a little underpriced, if only for the amount of rings in a box.

Overall - 11/20

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The Onion Ring Standard

Sola cepa. Onion alone. 

Why on earth would I start a blog where all I do is review onion rings? There's a short answer, and a long answer.

Short answer: I like onion rings. 

Long answer: I've recently developed a philosophy about judging restaurant quality solely by the quality of their onion rings. It started as an anecdotal observation: restaurants I liked usually had good onion rings. Gradually, I started ordering onion rings at more and more places, whether as a side, or an appetizer, or standing alone. The more onion rings I tried, the more my observation rang true. 

Eventually, this developed into a fully-fledged philosophy of food. Well, not really. But I do use it as a standard for judging restaurant quality. Onion rings seem easy enough to make, just bread some onions and fry them. Why bother doing anything more?

Because they're so seemingly simple, it might be tempting to put less thought or care into making them. After all, there's so much else to do and better things to focus on. Why care about the lowly onion ring? 

If the onion rings are good, that's often a signal that the chefs and cooks put a thought and care into every part of the menu. It's a simple test to see whether a restaurant is any good, one I think is more effective than getting any random thing off the menu. 

Sola cepa.


High Velocity (Atlanta, GA)

Located in the Atlanta Marriott Marquis, High Velocity is a sports bar. I think. I wasn't really paying attention to the atmosphere. Coming off working a long conference (the Hillsdale College Free Market Forum), I just wanted to get some food in me before my flight home.


Presentation and Appearance - 3/5

The onion rings were heaped into a small, overflowing bowl, which was in turn stacked on a plate, for some reason. I feel like the restaurant couldn't decide between a "neat" arrangement and a more traditional "throw it all in a basket" arrangement and picked some weird halfway point. The rings were, in turn, stuck together and stacked among each other. Two dipping sauces (ranch and some sort of red sauce I could never identify) accompanied in small metal containers.

That said, the rings themselves are pretty uniform in breading and overall appearance, if a little bland.

Taste - 2/5

Despite the uniform appearance, the rings themselves had a pretty bland taste. With almost no depth of flavor, it reminded me a bit of the frozen onion rings one can buy and put in an oven at a grocery store. Come to think of it, these probably WERE those onion rings, just sold at a restaurant instead.

As for the dipping sauces, the ranch helped improve the taste, but that's only because I was tasting the ranch more than the ring. The as-of-yet unidentified red sauce was about as bland as the onion rings, and added little to the flavor.

Texture - 4/5 

Surprisingly, the texture was the highlight of the dish. The breading was crispy, the onions were firm, and the whole product was nice and crunchy. The breading was a bit mealy at times, but otherwise, top notch.

Value - 1/5

For a roughly mediocre bowl of onion rings, the price ($10) was far too steep. Granted, this WAS in a conference hotel, so I wouldn't expect thrift to be a high point. That said, these are nothing special, and absolutely not worth the price.

Overall: 10/20