Ice House BBQ (Mackinac Island, Michigan)

 Welcome to the fourth entry in the Mackinac Island onion ring review extravaganza. Prior to this anniversary trip, I hadn't been to the island since I was a child on our annual family trips. As such, there were a lot of things I didn't anticipate, including the benefits of being on an island with no motor vehicles while bar hopping, the staggering beauty of a night sky with almost no light pollution while sitting on a rocky beach, and the horrible, horrible wait times. 

Some of this is, no doubt, a direct result of one of Governor Gretchen Whitmer's many petty executive orders limiting restaurant capacity, though more could be attributed to it being a nice weekend in August. In any case, by the time we made our way to Ice House BBQ, we were literally unable to get a table before they closed. Thankfully, they had an operating takeout window (surrounded by oddly unused seating) so I could check another step in the onion ring checklist off. 

Here is a review of onion rings from Ice House BBQ. 

Presentation and Appearance: 3.5/5

As could be reasonably expected from any takeout, the presentation isn't exactly wowing. Though a combination of draconian executive orders limiting restaurant capacity, the usual busy nature of Mackinac Island, and my own inability to plan ahead with a reservation makes this somewhat explainable. The rings are thrown together haphazardly in a black takeout container, a to-go cup of the dipping sauce balanced betwixt. 

The rings themselves are pretty varied in size (though perhaps a bit too small to fit the advertised "colossal" size) and very clearly hand breaded with what looks to be Panko. Despite the hand-breading, they're actually fairly well covered and consistent, though the coating is not perfect. The color is a beautiful and almost archetypal golden brown, though there are some darkened bits around the edges. 

I also ate this sitting on a rapidly cooling stone bench in Marquette Park but, again, that's on me. 

Taste: 4.5/5

I've often found that breading tends to have a weaker flavor than batter, as a general rule. That said, this breading packs a pretty good taste, with happy mediums of both salt and grease shimmering across and throughout. The onions, though on the small side, are cooked well - just long and hot enough to release the liquid gold that is the onion juices without letting the onion disintegrate. 

The superstar of this dish, however, is the cinnamon-chipotle dipping sauce. I'm increasingly jaded when it comes to onion ring dipping sauce - with most restaurants cycling through a familiar menagerie of ranch, "southwest" or "zesty" sauce, and the occasional disgusting spurt of ketchup. This dipping sauce, contrasting the pedestrian and familiar, is literally mind blowing and game changing. 

It has flavors I have never even fathomed going with onion rings - an intoxicating mayo-based blend of spicy, sweet, and creamy. It soothes and mildly scorches the tongue in tandem, with an invigorating mixture. It even accomplishes the rare task of perfectly complementing, and not overpowering in any way, the flavors of the breading and the onion. This sauce was purpose built for these onion rings in some fantastic mixture of art, science, and divine inspiration. 

Texture: 4/5

The Panko breading holds up well and maintains a respectable thickness throughout, without being too crunchy. One advantage of breadcrumbs over batter is the tendency for the breading to hold together under tooth-based assault, and this tends to be the case. Indeed, even as I cracked the rings to fit into the diminishing cinnamon-chipotle sauce container, they held firm. Though the onions seemed to be on the smaller side, they were softened just enough, thick, and meatier than I first thought. 

For its merits, there was a not-insignificant amount of slippage for the amount of rings represented. My wife, against my protest, attributed this to "user error" on my part. The slippage incidence was much less than I'd expect from a breaded ring, a point in favor of preparation and execution. 

Value: 4/5

Value is a tricky thing to determine on Mackinac Island. Were these onion rings good? Yes. Were they worth a whopping $15? In some respects, perhaps. Prices are naturally higher on Mackinac, hitting a trifecta of a secluded island, with heavy tourism, and all transportation by horse, and I'd expect to pay half to two-thirds of the amount for comparable rings on the mainland. 

However, after suffering through the frozen garbage that passes for onion rings on most of Mackinac, these were a treat and a delight. 

Total: 16/20

Cannonball Inn & Catering (Mackinac Island, Michigan)

Welcome to the third entry in the Sola Cepa one-year anniversary Mackinac Island onion ring extravaganza. Mackinac Island, though relatively small, is mostly unsettled parkland. Most of the actual things (hotels, houses, restaurants, the docks, etc.) are concentrated in the town on the south end of the island. As The Wife and I biked around the island one sunny Saturday (a necessary activity on any trip to Mackinac), I plotted out a stop at the only place to eat while circumnavigating the island. 

Situated about halfway around the island, the place is a natural stop. I should have kept pedaling. 

Here is a review of onion rings from Cannonball Inn & Catering on Mackinac Island. 

Presentation and Appearance: (3/5)

In a first (so far) for the island, these onion rings are *not* the exact same frozen mishmash from Brew City. They are served in a brown patterned cardboard container - a slight cut above from plain coloration - though without the near-ubiquitous wax paper beneath. They are served in a large pile bulging out from the container. 

Though I suspect the onion rings may still be frozen, they're enough variation in the batter to make me doubt it - as cracks and crevices are mottled throughout the rings. The rings are also inconsistently sized - and varying in color from a pale golden brown to a darkened copper. At first glance, this indicates an inconsistent fry time - possibly two separate batches combined. All told, they look fairly inoffensive. 

Taste: (0/5)

Beyond a thin veneer of grease, these onion rings had literally no flavor whatsoever. There was no seasoning, a completely bland batter, and even the onions tasted like a mushy, flavorless paste - the type of bland sludge I imagine they would serve on an interstellar voyage in a dystopian future. The best comparison I can make for the taste of these onion rings is a particularly bland variety of cardboard, surrounding a ring of moistened paper. 

Even after biking for a few miles, and having worked up something of an appetite in the process, these onion rings did absolutely nothing for me. They provided no flavor, no sustenance, and no joy. I could feel anger building as I tried to shovel them down before wisely abandoning the prospect - though remained intrigued by a food that offered less flavor than a particularly white piece of iceberg lettuce. For the first time in my entire time writing review of onion rings, I was literally unable to finish eating them.

Texture: (0.5/5)

In another feat of onion ring engineering, these onion rings had a texture that was simultaneously overcooked and cold. The batter was much too crunchy, and it felt more like gnawing through a hunk of wood than biting into an onion ring. Though the coloration would suggest not every onion ring would be overcooked, they were. They were also dry, sans the previously mentioned veneer of grease. 

I suspect that the overcooking was what led to the complete removal of any sense of flavor from the onion, though there was a hint of texture remaining. Though heated to within an inch of its existence, the onion interior was bizarrely cold. Given the wait time, I had assumed these were made to order, but the only possible explanation I can have for them being freezing and overcooked simultaneously is that they had waited in a bin somewhere for an hour or two before I arrived. 

Value: (2.5/5)

Despite the complete absence of flavor and the almost inedible texture, both which I suspect were brought about by an excessive cook time, I still think these onion rings are a pretty good value. The whole basket was $4.50, an astronomically low price for Mackinac Island - probably equivalent to a $2 thing of frozen, poorly prepared onion rings on the mainland. My high evaluation of the value no doubt partially stems from the absurd prices for other frozen rings back in town. 

That said, they were close to inedible, I couldn't bring myself to finish them, and they are a memory best buried. 

Total: (6/20)

UPDATE: I received the following notice from the owner in response to this review (posted on Google Maps): "Sorry you didn't enjoy, after reading your novel I have come to the conclusion that you need psychiatric help. Enjoy your time on the island."

Great Turtle Brewery & Distillery (Mackinac Island, Michigan)

Welcome to the second entry in the Sola Cepa one-year anniversary Mackinac Island onion ring extravaganza. The Wife, who I often say has the patience of a saint to put up with my fervent quest for onion ring glory literally anytime we travel anywhere, and I made a quick hop from the Yankee Rebel Tavern to our next destination, led by me staring at the Google Maps entry for "onion rings Mackinac Island" and wandering up and down the three or so streets that make up downtown Mackinac. 

Disclaimer: The Wife wanted me to note that her cocktail flight (pictured behind the onion rings) was very, very good. 

While cleansing my palate from the mediocrity of Yankee Rebel Tavern with a beer, I set in to continue the quest. Here is a review of onion rings from Great Turtle Brewery and Distillery. 

Presentation and Appearance: (1.5/5)

Deja Vu, in the words of the great British poets Dave Murray and Steve Harris (better known as one of the guitarists and the bassist of Iron Maiden, respectively), is when "you know this has happened before," among other things. Ladies and gentlemen, in what is likely a first in my many years of reviewing onion rings, I am beyond a shadow of a doubt confident that these onion rings are the EXACT same frozen onion rings that I had eaten not an hour before. 

That's right, the infamous "Brew City's beer battered best," as the menu at Yankee Rebel Tavern had described them, were on my plate yet again. Only this time, they were even worse. Served in a tangled mass of onion-kind on a plain white plate, mashed together haphazardly and with the numerous cracks and scars in the batter to prove it, these onion rings were somehow far worse despite likely coming from the same factory as the last. 

The only slim notes in its favor are are relatively consistent coloring, though marred by overdone and blackened bits of flavorless onion sludge, and the heaping nature of the mound on the plate.

Taste: (0.5/5)

As noted previously, when using frozen onion rings, the only way to make any kind of improvement in either taste or texture is in the execution. These onion rings are a dramatic failure in execution, akin to how the Romans felt at the Battle of Cannae. The cracked batter is overdone, leeching what little flavor there would have been in the previously described homeopathic and measly blend of "paprika, onion powder, salt, sugar, and 'spices'." Even the bare hints of salt and grease that are present barely manage to make an impression. 

Likewise, the onion taste is weak - even weaker than the onion La Croix of Yankee Rebel. I suspect that the combination of badly overdone rings and cracks in the batter led to the onion juices escaping their miserable cage for a chance at freedom, dashed hopelessly in the fryer. The only positive points I could possibly muster is that I managed to finish them, no doubt aided by the beer. 

Texture: (1/5)

Even among bad onion rings, I find some solace in the experimental and the novel. Even if taste and texture aren't quite on track, I truly enjoy the experimentation. At least, I thought I did, until now. The texture of these onion rings have managed to delve into entirely unexplored horrors. 

Simply put, they were oddly sticky, as though the onion juice melted through the overdone batter and merged into a paste from hell. As a result, the batter was extremely rigid, almost resembling a vaguely onion tasting candy devised by someone who hates flavor. They crunched, but not in a good way. Even though they're not truly burnt, they feel like it. The specks of onion hidden in the crevasse of batter were moderately juicy, albeit flavorless, and was the sole saving textural grace. 

Value: (1/5)

This is probably the most scientific review I've ever done, as I had a direct and immediate comparison with the same brand of frozen onion rings at a restaurant a block away. For a plate of significantly worse onion rings (though somewhat larger in quantity), I paid the tidy sum of $10. Even for the already inflated prices of Mackinac Island, this is a ripoff - especially since the place a couple hundred feet away cost $2 fewer.

If they had been executed even remotely well, there might be a hint more value. Unfortunately, these are a complete waste of time, and among the worst onion rings I've ever had the displeasure to eat. 

Total: 4/20

Yankee Rebel Tavern (Mackinac Island, Michigan)

 At this point, I'm tempted to dispense with eloquence. Yes, I stopped posting reviews for a while. Things were happening. For a time, anything other than takeout was banned in the state of Michigan. Currently, eating in a restaurant is legal - provided that it doesn't receive more than 70% of its gross receipts from alcohol sales. Yes, really. According to the state of Michigan, COVID-19 is only transmissible in an establishment with significant alcohol sales. 

As what little remains of the classical liberal order (freedom of speech, commerce, private property) is under increasing assault from all sides, I'm forced to wonder: how long until there are no more onion rings? They are, as I have opined before, a beautiful example of spontaneous order, and the sheer lack of nutrition is a telling sign on the insane wealth we enjoy in the world today. 

With that in mind, my one-year anniversary trip to Mackinac Island with The Wife prioritized locating and consuming a wildly unhealthy amount of onion rings. Also fudge. Also beer. 

Anyway, here's a review of onion rings from Yankee Rebel Tavern on Mackinac Island. 

Presentation and Appearance: (3/5)

I think I've become more jaded over time. The black plastic basket, which may have once aroused some bare excitement for not being red, seems sufficient, if banal. Indeed, even the fake newsprint (which may or may not be identical to all the other fake newsprint waxpaper I've seen onion rings plated on it) doesn't excite me. In its defense, it's better than nothing.

Color-wise, the onion rings are a solid golden brown, with a consistent shade all around. There are a handful of severely cracked rings, but they're mostly solid. The uniformity of the breading means one thing - frozen and machine made. Indeed, per the menu, these are "Brew City's beer battered best!," best being a dubious term indeed. 

Taste: (1.5/5) 

As is par for the course for any frozen onion ring, the batter is largely unseasoned and tasteless. I will give Yankee Rebel Tavern props for identifying the make of onion rings, so I can identify the ingredients list. Allegedly, these contain paprika (but just for color), onion powder, salt, sugar, and "spices." Perhaps Brew City subscribes to the as-of-yet unheard of homeopathic theory of seasoning, where they put minute portions of each spice into the onion ring in the hope that the flavors are mystically amplified. 

At best, I can taste a hint of salt in the batter, lightly brushed with a delicate touch of grease. The onions are not that much better.  What passes for onion juice is more like the onion flavor of La Croix - thin, watery, and largely flavorless. The onions are probably too thin, albeit cooked as well as they could be, to yield anything significant. 

Texture: (3.5/5)

While there's little that frozen onion rings can do to improve their taste, texture is largely a result of preparation. In this case, they're prepared about as well as they can be, as the batter is smooth and with a fine crunch. That is, they are neither over- nor under-cooked, as evidenced by the lack of slippage and the connectivity of the onion and the batter. 

The only mark against texture is the onions are just a bit too soft, perhaps weakening in structural integrity as they leak out their onion water onto my fake newspaper. This is probably the first time I've ever described an onion ring as "wet," but I honestly don't know what other word to use. It's like they made onion water, froze it, and let it thaw inside of the batter. I don't actually know how they make frozen food, but that sounds about right to me. 

Value: (2/5) 

On Mackinac Island, money loses much of its meaning. Given that everything has to be shipped to the island on a ferry or an airplane and then transported by horse and buggy (yes, really) to its final destination, and the fact that it's a hotbed of tourism, I'm willing to be somewhat more generous with gauging value than I usually am. 

That said, $8 for a bowl of mid-sized platter of mediocre onion rings is pretty steep. They were as well made as they could be, and they were served piping hot, but they left me more disappointed than anything else. 

Total: 10/20

Kitzingen Brewery (Wyoming, MI)

Like many throughout what was once thought of as a free country, I am currently legally confined to my home except for whatever the governor, in Her Supreme Wisdom, deems to be "essential." In order to take my mind off of the growing wave of petty despots in the United States, and the ongoing collapse of economic freedom and civil liberty, it turned out to be a perfect time to catch up on my Sola Cepa backlog.

I also just ran out of excuses and alternative uses of my time.

Incidentally, looking back on these reviews made me realize how much I miss the simple freedom to eat food at a restaurant without threat of imprisonment, and contemplate how many of the fine (and less-than-fine) eateries I've reviewed over the last three years will close their doors forever because of this.

Here's a review of the onion rings from Kitzingen Brewery in Wyoming, Michigan. Thanks to my wife and father-in-law for joining me.

Presentation and Appearance: 3/5

Despite being a German style brewery, these onion rings are plated as a slice of Americana - in a red plastic basket and atop a crisp sheet of wax paper. Ranch, another staple of American culture, rests precariously in a generous portion betwixt rings and basket.

The rings themselves are clearly hand-breaded, with a crisp golden brown color. I was pleasantly surprised to see spices and seasonings embedded into the batter, which is rarer than you might think, While hand-breading is generally a good sign for flavor, it's difficult to get a consistent coating on the batter. This remains true here, as much of the breading is patchy and filled with gaps.

Taste: 4/5 

As foreshadowed above, these onion rings are surprisingly well seasoned. I say "surprisingly" not to knock Kitzingen Brewery, but to note how much this differs from the norm. Most are satisfied with naught but grease, and perhaps a pinch of salt, if they're feeling fancy.

These rings are well salted, true, but seasoned with something beyond that, providing a potent mix of beautiful flavor. The requisite grease is present too, but not in excess.

The onion taste is slightly more variable. When it work, they give off just enough onion juice and grease to come through in a buttery explosion of flavor. Unfortunately, some onion rings don't deliver the same magnitude of flavor, instead giving the weakness and pallor of a desiccated husk.

On the plus side, the ranch sauce was some of the best I've ever had, combining both sweetness and a tangy kick for unforgettable flavor, and undoubtedly enhancing and complementing the existing flavors of both batter and onion.

Texture: 4.5/5

There is something deeply human about the almost great. History, culture, and literature are filled with countless examples of things that approached glory and prestige, but couldn't quite hit the mark, with a tragic hamartia causing their fated downfall. These onion rings were inhibited by the hamartia of inconsistency, the hobgoblin of onion ring reviews.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the texture. My initial bites led me to believe I had finally found a perfect texture in an onion ring. They deliver a mix of buttery, melt-in-your-mouth softness with enough of a crisp and a shape to maintain integrity and some crunch. The onion meshed together with the batter well, with enough softness to give flavor without devolving into an incoherent mash of greasy moisture.

I think the best word to describe them I found was chewy, which is not an attribute I traditionally associate with good onion rings. Yet here it worked.

Unfortunately, not every onion ring had this euphoric mix of buttery onion and chewy, melty batter. Though none were what I would call bad, a handful of rings failed to live up to the almost impossible standard of their forebears.

Value: 4/5

Onion rings are often an afterthought, for drunken fools to fill their bellies with greasy carbs and stave off their inevitable hangover. As such, most are bare bones and overpriced for the meager flavor they deliver. Here, and for only $5, a got a sizable basket of flavorful and hand-battered onion rings, with a terrific ranch sauce on the side.

Total: 15.5/20

The Old Bag of Nails Pub (Chain, Ohio)

Thanksgiving, for much of my adult life, has been a simple affair. With a steadily growing diaspora among my family, my grandparents absconding to warmer climes, and my siblings rapidly marrying off, it often came down to me and my mother. We would usually drink and watch TV.

With the rapid onset of my own marriage, I was forced to come to terms with sharing holidays with the in-laws. And so, off we went, to small-town Ohio, on a pilgrimage my wife's family has undertaken for many a year.

With the customary gluttony that accompanies Thanksgiving, I had to find time, calories, and resolve to go eat onion rings as well. It was not a simple task (and probably set me back a good two weeks in my own health goals, eating the caloric equivalent of a dozen runs), but I have long since accepted my lot in life is one of sacrifice for the pleasure of others. In this case, it's for those who (inexplicably) read in-depth reviews of onion rings. Thanks, as always, for your longstanding support.

Here's a review of onion rings from the Old Bag of Nails Pub (at the Marysville, Ohio location). Thank you to my lovely wife for accompanying me.

Presentation and Appearance: (3.5/5)

Though the black plastic basket is fairly standard, the paper lining resplendent with fake newsprint was a bit more unique (though I have seen it once before at Kitchen 67). I didn't bother to read the content of the paper (likely Ohio-themed propaganda), but it did its best to emulate a "down-home" country-esque feel. The onion rings are at just the right amount to fill the basket and slightly heap, with two plastic containers of horseradish dipping sauce balanced precariously amidst ring and news, perhaps a fitting metaphor for the lack of attention paid to onion rings in modern journalism. 

The onion rings themselves are clearly hand battered, though a number are oddly squished and squashed, as though molded and fried under pressure to turn the characteristic "o" to something more akin to a "0". Overall, the batter strikes me as flaky and perhaps a bit loose, and cooked on the lighter side of golden brown. That said, they do make for a unique appearance, somewhat characteristic of tempura battering. 

Taste: (2.5/5)

These onion rings were a bit of a shock to me. Despite the tantalizing appearance, the batter wasn't very well seasoned. Much greasier than initial appearances led me to believe, the bulk of the batter flavor was a buttery smoothness. The onions themselves didn't add much to the dish, beyond a small hint of sweetness mixed in with the batter. 

The horseradish dipping sauce was a highlight, and was almost essential to whatever enjoyment I could derive from these rings. While not particularly strong, the creamy and smooth sauce mixed well with the buttery flavors of the batter.

However, at the core of it, it didn't feel much like eating an onion ring. It was more of a vaguely onion-tasting pastry shaped like a zero, filled with the delicious horseradish cream all schoolchildren know and love. 

Texture: (2/5)

Despite the buttery taste, the batter is fairly dry. The batter itself is a curiosity. It's almost as if it's made up of successive layers of batter, fried lightly and concurrently before serving. The enigma-laden batter demonstrates both shedding and slippage, as flecks depart the ring after each bite and the onion interior slips out between them. The rigidity of the batter is further complicated by its softness, almost like a sweet onion cake. 

The root cause of this is that the onion rings were undercooked. The interior layers are chewy and doughy, even while surrounded by the crispy flecks of the outer layers. I suspect this also accounts for the meager onion flavor. Though I'm fascinated by the batter, and applaud its ingenuity in delivering onion rings, I think it misses the mark on execution. 

Value: (3/5)

On a standard menu price, this large basket of onion rings cost $7.99. The quantity was impressive, and this was one of very few occasions I can recall where I had to request a to-go box for the remainder. This was no doubt influenced by the gluttony of Thanksgiving (and the subsequent meals at Bob Evans, a hotel breakfast buffet, and other reviews), but it's impressive nonetheless. 

As I worked long into the night in my hotel room, the cold onion rings beckoned to me, and ended up tasting better than they did fresh. I'm not sure what to make of that, which is a sentiment I'm forced to express for much of these rings. They are a curiosity from the depths of Ohio, that I will marvel at for the weeks and months to come. 

Total: 11/20

River North Public House (Grand Rapids, MI)

My eternally gracious wife has come to terms with the fact that any given date night has the strong likelihood of being used as an excuse to review onion rings. Indeed, on the latest occasion, I undertook a robust comparative analysis to identify a restaurant that a) served onion rings; b) I had not reviewed, and; c) had a happy hour of sufficiently good value to warrant going out. 

While the amount of effort I exert in reviewing onion rings may seem exorbitant and unnecessary, I can assure you that it is all in pursuit of a higher goal. That is, Sola Cepa. The $1 PBR draft didn't hurt either. 

Here is a review of onion rings from River North Public House in Grand Rapids, Michigan. 

Presentation and Appearance: (3/5)

Plated on a deep and dark blue plate, the onion rings are stacked in what some scholars might call a heap, if they were being generous. The plate, though striking, is far too big for the quantity of onion rings contained atop. Two separate dipping sauces (the radioactive orange "Honey Sriracha" and the creamy white "Grand River Sauce") rest in metal cups just beyond the onion rings.

My first impression of the rings themselves isn't positive. The batter is extremely dark and almost certainly overdone. The battering is irregular and patchy, including one ring cracked clean in half. Though there's a prodigious amount of batter-per-ring, it's not applied evenly, leading to cancerous tumors bulging from beyond the confines of the ring.

Taste: (3/5)

There are a few maxims I've picked up in my many years of reviewing onion rings. Chief among them is this; the eyes do not deceive. The discerning consumer can easily identify potential flaws in taste and texture by sight alone. This maxim showed its worth with these rings, as the batter was horribly overdone, and bordering on badly burnt. Occasional speckles of flavor eked through the charred-out remains of what once were onion rings, and these did hold a decent flavor, though it was overpowered.

These onion rings were made with red onions, which is a refreshing departure from the norm. However, the milder onion taste from the cooked red onions made it difficult for them to pierce through the blackened shell of batter. Despite these problems, I do have to give substantial credit to the sauces, both of which I've never experienced with onion rings before. The Honey Sriracha sauce coated the onion rings in an interesting veil that truly transformed the dish.

Unfortunately, I was not able to appreciate it given the burnt rings. The Grand River Sauce was substantially better, with its mix of tangy, savory, and slightly spicy flavors. If these onion rings had been executed well, I think both of these sauces would have brought them to a whole new level.

Texture: (1.5/5)

The batter is far, far too thick for these onion rings, expanding like a rapid algal bloom from the onion core. The balance between the batter and the onion is completely off. This is compounded by how badly overdone the batter is. On some bites, I feel like I'm trying to bite through charcoal in some bizarre hazing ritual - perhaps with some shattered remnants of grilled onion hiding in the ashes.

The batter itself is also patchy and uneven. The overwhelming thickness and rigidity of the batter made both shedding (batter chipping off of the ring) and slippage (onions slipping out of the ring) extremely common.

The onions, despite the clearly overdone batter, seemed almost underdone and dry. It's possible that these rings looped all the way around so as to extrude what little onion juices remained into the fryer, leaving me with a sad and empty bite. The dipping sauces remain the star, as they infuse some much needed moisture into every bite, though there's only so much that they can do.

Value: (3.5/5)

My inherent thrifty nature - some combination of culture, Dutch ancestry, and familial habits - can be exacting, and drives much of my life, including my penchant for both meal prep and happy hours. In this case, the River North Public House happy hour is a good deal, as these onion rings were a mere $4. For all the trouble in execution, I can see a theoretically good onion ring buried beneath the cinders of the batter, with a decent amount sitting on the plate.

However, were these to be at the standard price of $8, it would be a different story.

Total: 11/20