I've driven past the Choo Choo Grill hundreds of times in the past two years, and I finally went in, to satisfy both my curiosity and my insatiable, never-ending drive for more onion rings.
Presentation and Appearance: 2/5
Language is a tricky thing. The same word, like "simple" or "bare-bones" could be said of two wildly different things, one of which may more perfectly illustrate the true definition of the term. All that is to say that the presentation of these onion rings was, in fact, simple. They were served in a tangled pile on a small, white plates. That's it. It's fitting for the diner aesthetic of the Choo Choo Grill, though not the most impressive.
The onion rings run into more trouble in their appearance. I can immediately tell that they're overcooked, as evidenced by the dark, dark brown coating, and the frays in the batter. They have a somewhat consistent size and cut, but that comes not from art of the craft, but from the purchase of a large plastic bag of frozen onion rings.
The restaurant was set up in a small building, with counter seating surrounding the grill and fry area. As I was paying my bill, I noticed a new batch of onion rings going in the fryer, being delicately spooned from a large plastic bag, obviously pre-made, obviously frozen. Though I've had my share of frozen onion rings before, this is the first time I've seen the indelicate and mechanistic frying, bereft of care, bereft of love.
Taste: 1.5/5
My eyes did not deceive me, as the predominant taste of these onion rings was an overdone batter, often bordering on badly burnt. The onions, cut razor-thin, failed to deliver a substantial onion taste. Given the long fry-time, there was little chance for the onion juices to mingle with the ubiquitous grease, making for a remarkably dry onion ring.
In short, these were largely flavorless. It was burnt breading with a vague hint of onion, flavored in a pool of grease.
Texture: 1.5/5
As with all other aspects of these onion rings, the texture was almost solely determined by the overpowering, overcooked, and slightly burnt breading. The onions, when they weren't desiccated husks of what may have been an onion at some point in time, did deliver some okay texture, but it was mostly dry, and masked by the awful batter.
In addition, they fell prey to the cardinal sin of onion rings: slippage.
Value: 2/5
As I was originally working through my notes for this review, I was cautiously optimistic on value. When filling out my check, I saw the dread of the bag of frozen onion rings poured with a modicum of care into the fryer, and my heart sank.
I originally thought $3.39 for a decent sized pile of sub-par onion rings wasn't too bad, but when confronted with the absolute fact that they were pre-made and frozen, I couldn't help but feel it was a rip-off, at best. At worst, it's a crime against all things Allium, and an affront to all things good in life.
Total: 7/20
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