Filling Station (Comstock Park, MI)

All human endeavors, given enough time, develop their own internal lore. Onion rings are no exception. A little over a year ago, I put out a call to arms on Facebook, calling for suggestions for onion rings to review in the greater Grand Rapids area, to feed my nigh insatiable hunger for the mighty onion ring.

One suggestion was the Filling Station, located in Comstock Park. According to legend, and as relayed to me, they used a legendary recipe for their onion rings derived from Mr. Fables, a defunct local chain that went under when I was five. I ventured forth on a clear-skied Saturday, eager to taste a piece of living onion ring history, and to delve deeper into the rich culinary lore that surrounds the noble dish.

Here's a review of onion rings from the Filling Station. Thank you to Sola Cepa super-fan Patrick O. for accompanying me.

Presentation and Appearance: 4/5

The onion rings arrived harmoniously heaped, stacked in a golden brown tower, in a green-and-blue striped cardboard container. Interestingly, this container was itself atop a traditional checkered paper, which was itself atop a plastic basket. The successive layers of presentation may have been a subconscious ode to the layers of the onion, a significance which merits further investigation.

The stacked pile of onion rings made for an appealing dish, as did the almost perfectly uniform hue of the batter, on the lighter side of golden brown. I have deducted some points for a major outlier shoved in the bottom of the basket, an overdone half ring that was fried to oblivion and back.

Beyond this, the onions seemed to be of a uniform cut and size, both in circumference and, more importantly, in the thickness of the onion interior. They are clearly hand-battered, but perhaps with a small lack of care, as the batter expanded like a porous nightmare from beyond the confines of the ring.

Taste: 3.5/5

As might be expected from the Codex of Allium, which holds the Mr. Fables recipe supposedly maintained by the Filling Station to be unique for its batter, the batter is the highlight of flavor for these rings. It is satisfyingly well-seasoned, and somewhat dry. It avoids the deluge of grease and onion juices that so many onion rings fall prey to, while maintaining a certain crispiness of batter.

The onion flavor, however, does fall a little short. I suspect that these onion rings were made with a sweeter onion variety than may be the norm (perhaps, like Russ', the sweet Spanish onion). Consequently, the onion taste is inconsistently present. When it's there, it provides a taste that is simultaneously pervasive and mild, without being overpowering in any regard.

Other bites proved to have little to no flavor in the onion interior, and all I was left with was a mouthful of creamy batter, seasoned with the bitter taste of disappointment.

Texture: 4.5/5

Unlike the taste, these onion rings deliver handily in the quality of texture. The batter is neither overly soft nor hard and crunchy, but sits comfortably between the two extremes. The batter is crispy and fresh, soft enough to deliver a buttery sensation, but stable enough to ensure almost no slippage or shedding throughout my meal. Indeed, the integrity of these onion rings is a marvel, and in large part thanks to the quality of the batter, though it was applied more than a little haphazardly.

The onions which form the basis of the ring, while lacking a bit in flavor, are cooked excellently. Like the batter, they avoid the extremes of soggy mush and raw earthiness.

A substantive flaw can only be found in the outlier onion ring, chopped in half and overdone, which ruined the texture of both batter and onion. Beyond that, the texture was top-notch.

Value: 4.5/5

$3.65 buys one a massive basket of onion rings, of substantial historical importance. While there are a couple outliers, and they are somewhat lackluster in terms of onion flavor, you definitely get your money's worth with these.

Total: 16.5/20

Sweet Meats Smokehouse at Fifth Third Ballpark (Comstock Park, MI)

From time to time over the past six months, I glanced through the notes stored on my phone, the dim outlines of onion ring reviews yet to be written. I would often consider trying to eke out a rough review, merely to get it over with, but I couldn't bear to put out a sub par production. I wasn't in a state or motivation to deliver the quality that you, the readers, have come to expect.

Today, Sola Cepa resumes. Thanks for reading.

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My culinary experience as baseball games doesn't have a stellar track record. Two lukewarm hot dogs, wrapped in a suspicious foil, went down easy enough at a Detroit Tigers game some ten years ago. The experience was not as pleasant that night.

As such, I didn't have high hopes for the onion rings at Fifth Third Ballpark, home to the West Michigan Whitecaps. Though my palate may have been somewhat compromised by copious amounts of $2 beer, I knew I couldn't pass this opportunity up. Navigating through the golden horde, I made my way to the one concessions stand that had onion rings, Sweet Meats Smokehouse.

Presentation and Appearance: 1/5

It's easy to tell the difference between onion rings prepared with care, thought, and precision, and those sloppily fried and mass produced for rapid consumption. These rings are demonstrably the latter.

The bowl is a thin, weak Styrofoam, threatening to crack and break at the slightest hint of pressure. It's far too small to hold the volume of the onion rings, and I was forced to delicately balance the bowl and two cups of Coors Light back to my seat all the way across the stadium.

Even without the small bowl, the onion rings themselves are a train wreck. Nearly every ring is cracked to smithereens, split and fraying. While some of the breading is a pleasant golden brown, there are far too many overdone, nearly burnt, chunks of breading scattered throughout. The inconsistency alone is frightening.

In short, these do not look even remotely appetizing.

Taste: 1/5

I'm tempted to say there's no taste whatsoever to these rings, but that would be false. There is one overwhelming taste: grease, and grease alone. I can tell there are some onions in it before I eat it, as the cracked batter shows some white, vaguely onion shaped substance within. Not that I could tell from the taste.

In terms of seasoning, there's a bland hint of a dash of salt mixed in with the overwhelming grease. The onions have no taste, the breading has hardly any, and I feel like a squeeze bottle of grease was drenched over the rings just before they were served. The grease leaked and burst onto my shirt as I ate it, adding pain and discomfort to the complete lack of sufficient taste.

Texture: 1.5/5

The overcooked batter does give the onion rings a mild crunch, but this is almost entirely overshadowed by the mushy, soggy interior of the onion. They are swimming in grease, which flows like a river between the onion and the breading. For each mild crunch, the stream of grease that rushes into my mouth (and, as previously mentioned, onto my lap) overshadows even the hint of good texture.

Value: 2.5/5

While the onion rings were the worst I've ever tasted in my life, I got a reasonably sized amount for $3.50, especially given that they came from a concessions stand at a minor league baseball game. They were, at best, a diversion from the baseball game and an excuse to shove grease down my gullet.

They may have only been edible as a result of the $2 beer which I managed to choke it down with, but they were still pretty cheap.

Total: 6/20