On the Grid (Allegan, MI)

My age has started to sneak up on me in subtle ways. My steadily growing interest in a well-maintained lawn. The inability to drink bottom-shelf liquor. Most recently, it's been a steadily growing fascination in a somewhat unremarkable place - Allegan. The city has the rare distinction of rural charm without depressing urban decay and widespread poverty, largely owing to the corporate presence of Perrigo.

It's nestled next to an extensive state game area (heavily forested and well trailed), and far enough off the beaten path of the interstate to feel remote. The city is also flush with a bevy of well-maintained historical homes and businesses, stemming in part from the bounty that Allegan's own Benjamin D. Pritchard received following the capture of former Confederate president Jefferson Davis at the conclusion of the Civil War.

Unfortunately for Allegan, Sola Cepa only cares about the onion rings. Here's a review of onion rings from On the Grid in Allegan, Michigan.

Presentation and Appearance: 3.5/5

The presentation is fairly bare bones, with the onion rings arriving on a standard white plate, albeit decorate with few gray rings. The heaping pile of onion rings is a shock, as I expected far fewer onion rings in a half order. The requisite ranch dipping sauce came in two plastic containers off to the side. I was almost overwhelmed by the delightful scent of the rings, which were clearly hand battered and made fresh just moments before. Though there was one cracked ring and handful of gaps in the batter, the coating of the batter was overall fairly consistent, as was the golden brown color, with a few exceptions for each.

Taste: 4.5/5

When an onion ring is clearly handmade, my mind leaps in anticipation to the flavor of the batter. The batter does not disappoint, brining a moderate and non-overpowering blend of grease and salt. The onions are likely well flavored with just the right amount of thickness. Together, thanks to an impeccable cooking time, batter and onion blend together into a sumptuous bite. My only minimal complaint is that the onions are less flavorful than I would have expected, and I suspect the use of a sweet or Vidalia onion rather than a yellow onion might be the culprit. The ranch is much the same. Though a bit watery and deceptively simple at first glance, the aftertaste sneaks up on you like Benjamin D. Pritchard on Jefferson Davis. Instead of bringing incarceration, they brought a subtle, tangy aftertaste that expertly paired with the onion rings. These onion rings hit the golden mean in terms of taste: not too salty, nor too bland; not too greasy, nor too dry; not too thin, nor too thick. I think their creation clearly stems from an expert hand used to executing simple flavors well.

Texture: 3.5/5

Overall, the batter is crunchy on the initial chew while slowly dissolving in the mouth afterwards, maintaining the golden mean between soft and hard with just the right amount of give. The onions likewise straddle the line between mushy and raw, cooked to deliver the optimal amount of juices with each bite.

The ability to balance both taste and texture between divergent extremes is a rare one, and these onion rings mostly hit the mark. The batter does vacillate between strength and fragility, as bits of the batter harden and chip off onto the plate when biting (what I deem "shedding"), exacerbated by a similar tendency for weaker onion rings to partially dissolve in a cloud of onion particulate.  

Value: 5/5

The onion rings at On the Grid are an absolute home-run in terms of value. The amount of high-quality, homemade onion rings at a $4.50 price point is almost unheard of, and more than makes up for some minor quibbles with onion selection and batter integrity. These are absolutely worth the trip.

Total: 16.5/20

Wahlburgers (Chain)

Much like wedding rings, onion rings bring people together. The past six years of Sola Cepa have provided myriad opportunities for connection with friends and family alike, and downtown Grand Rapids has been the site for dozens of such occasions. Years ago, when I was working in downtown Grand Rapids, the opening of a new restaurant that served onion rings was a remarkable occasion, one I monitored closely.

Unfortunately, after three years of working from home full-time, these sojourns to The Big City have become fewer and farther between, though not entirely absent. In this case, the opening of the Grand Rapids location of Wahlburgers, as well as The Wife being out of town, provided the opportunity to catch up with my good friend Eric over the sweet, circular goodness that is the onion ring.

Here is a review of onion rings from Wahlburgers. 

Presentation and Appearance: 4/5

While the menu bills these as "Thin Crispy Onion Rings," I don't think I had grasped just how thin they would be. The overflowing heap of ribbon-thin onion rings snakes out of the wired basket, cascading and hypnotically swirling between the basket and the plate. They're among the thinnest onion rings I've ever seen, and are topped with green specks of herbs.

The breading is similarly thin, so much so that I wasn't entirely sure it existed on first glance. The plating has a certain elegance, with a metal (not plastic) basket atop a napkin atop a hefty plate, though the effect is somewhat diminished by the sheer volume of onion rings.

Taste: 3.5/5

I was initially highly suspicious of these onion rings, given the small size and thin batter, but the flavor profile was surprisingly refined. Most onion rings, if made properly, are designed to deliver big bursts of flavor - the thick cuts of juicy onion, well salted greasy batter, and so on.

These onion rings were of a more subtle and understated variety, with a delicate seasoning balance between salt, herb, and batter. The thin onion strands were predictably on the lighter side, but it was consistent with the taste of the batter in a way that made sense with the size. Unfortunately, my order was slightly over salted, threatening to swallow the ecosystem of flavor entirely.

The accompanying sauce did not complement the otherwise thoughtful taste, representing some sort of unholy vinegar and tomato fusion that wasn't quite ketchup and wasn't quite Thousand Island Dressing. I think a good sauce would have made significant steps to overcome the saltiness and overall dry profile, though application was difficult given the small size of the onion rings.

Texture: 2.5/5

It's truly a remarkable feat to fry onion strings this thin without burning them to a crisp, but Wahlburgers has done so. While there's little overall moisture in the dish (owing to the small cut of the onions), the crispy onion rings remain light and airy, with the delicate batter somehow holding its shape through cooking and eating. The textural profile is fundamentally dry, with almost no onion juices to speak of, which was unfortunately not remedied by the accompanying sauce. 

Unlike many of the other dry onion rings I've eaten in my time, I think these are intentionally devoid of moisture, and to that extent it was executed within its vision, though it was still ultimately lacking. 

Value: 3/5

These onion rings are truly not onion rings at all. They feel in large part like an over-engineered gourmet burger topping that was added to the sides menu as an afterthought. They don't really work as a side and can't quite stand up as an appetizer, but it was like nothing I've ever tasted before. For $3.50 it's pricy given the quantity of onion, but it brings something new and interesting to the table. 

Total: 13/20