As the sun rose in the east, peaking over the tip of Michigan's Thumb, I awoke in a miasmic haze of onion vapor. My constitution was not like in the annals of my youth, when I could eat onion rings for every meal for weeks on end (not that I ever did, but I'm sure it was possible). Instead, three orders of onion rings, and almost nothing else, over the course of the day wrought much devastation.
However, my solemn pledge of Sola Cepa had not wavered. I knew I still had more work to do. The journey was not yet over, nor, indeed, could it ever be over. The quest is eternal, even as my body fades quietly, gently into oblivion, as all things must.
Here is a review of onion rings from Lefty's Diner in Caseville, Michigan.
The sleek, modern, rectangular plate belies the humble surroundings of the roadside diner, yet it perfectly fits both the half-pound hamburger and the generous side portion of onion rings. The rings are stacked precariously atop one another on the plate, but beneath the chaos is a deep and hidden order, a mystery known only to those who seek it.
The onion rings are large, and very clearly freshly hand battered. Despite the size, the batter seems delicate, especially towards the ends, as they curl up in a coy, lacy, elegance, marked with pockets of batter bubbles throughout. Despite the fresh and intricate batter, the onions are completely coated, with no visible cracks in the batter, although some shedding flecks are scattered on the bottom of the plate in an unappetizing pool of grease.
Taste: (4/5)
I've always found much to admire in any creative endeavor, such as making onion rings, wherein the substance matches the style. Whereas much of modern cinema has imploded in a deluge of increasingly trite social commentary and special effects, wrapped around a meaningless story with inconsequential characters, the onion rings at Lefty's Diner have a batter flavor that matches their lofty appearance.
With the first bite, the batter melts into a smooth, buttery, salty sensation. Though there is a bit too much grease (as evidence by the plating), which detracts from the flavor somewhat, the positive elements outweigh the negative. The onions likewise have a good flavor, though it pales in comparison to the batter. This can be largely attributed to the thin slice of the onions within the rings, and the onion aftertaste lasts longer than the main sensation.
Due to the moisture of these onion rings, I forgot about the dipping sauce until halfway through. The ranch was pretty good - creamy, with what seemed to be a dash of dill. The creaminess smoothed out some of the grease of the batter, though it overpowered the relatively weak onion flavor.
Texture: (3.5/5)
There are certain clichés I fall into after five some-odd years of reviewing onion rings. One of them is the phrase "melts in your mouth" when describing the textural sensation of onion ring consumption. Though not quite soft, maintaining some rigidity and cohesiveness, the batter is delicate enough to melt in the furnace of the mouth. It's almost porous - not far off from a tempura style battering - with the main difference coming from the crusty shapes sticking up from the edge of the circle.
With a thin onion often comes a mushy texture, particularly for a batter such as this. The onions aren't quite pulverized into slurry, but they are certainly on the softer side, with surprisingly few juices. The batter is the absolute star of this dish, and at times it feels like the onion sort of slips into the background. There's a surprisingly good adhesion betwixt onion and batter, with no slippage, yet ample shedding.
Value: (4/5)
This side portion of onion rings cost $7, which at first glance may seem like a steep price to pay. However, as they were made fresh, by hand, with a terrific batter and execution in the frying, I think it's a solid value for the bite.
Total: (15.5/20)
