Presentation and Appearance: 1.5/5
I'm always a bit more generous with the presentation of take-out onion rings. Look, I get it. You don't have the time, inclination, or ability to prepare an appetizing presentation. That said, the presentation is pretty consistent with takeout onion rings. A large carton, made just small enough that the onion rings overflow out the top. Accompanying dipping sauce in a plastic container. It's as basic as it gets.
No, the real reason these onion rings are docked in this category is for the appearance. It's hard to tell from the picture, but practically every onion ring in the box was irregularly breaded, cracked, broken, and bruised. The perfection and wholeness of an onion ring was replaced by cracked and broken dreams, pale facades of the union that could have been.
The breading on these onion rings, besides being poorly done and irregular, is uniquely grainy. Almost like it was washed in an onion flavored sand.
Taste: 2.5/5
My first bite reveals a surprising amount of seasoning. The grainy batter, cracked and creaking though it may be, packs a tremendous amount of flavor on what parts of the onion they've stuck to. It's well salted without being overpowering, and the flavor stays with you as you eat the breading and the onion together.
Unfortunately, the onion taste leaves much to be desired. Were it not for the appearance (and my infinite wisdom of all things Onion Ring), I'm not sure if I'd know there was any onion in it by taste alone. The onions are likely tremendously undercooked, and somehow lacking in both raw and sauteed onion flavor.
The accompanying dipping sauce was unique, and hard to place. It was similar to the nigh ubiquitous "zesty" sauce that typically comes with onion rings, but without a lot of zest. Probably the same base, but with a different blend of herbs and seasonings mixed in. It complemented the seasoned breading well, without overpowering it.
Texture: 3/5
The grainy breading truly shines in the texture. One would expect the cracked, crumbly breading to disintegrate on the first bite, but that's a rarity. Though mildly greasy, it is not to an excess. The breading alone gives a soft crunch, without being too hard or overpowering. It goes down smooth and easy.
The texture of the onion itself, as indicated above, is almost certainly undercooked. They avoid the problem of mushiness that plagues so many onion rings, but seem to go the exact opposite way. The onion is firm almost to the point of rawness, but it does contribute to the solid crunchy bites.
All in all, the texture added greatly to both the mouthfeel and the pleasure of eating.
Value: 3/5
While I technically didn't pay for (or, indeed, ask for) these onion rings, I felt they were a solid value. As best as I can gather, the menu price for this (assuming it was a full order) was $4.29. For a modest sum, I got an overflowing carton of alright onion rings. They're certainly nothing worth writing home about, but they served as an adequate, and filling, lunch.
Total: 10/20
