Gatsby's Seafood and Steakhouse (Bay City, MI)

On a sunny afternoon in August, I began the first proper leg of my foray into the allium-based cuisine of the greater Saginaw Bay area. I found the city to be a unique mix of empty and charming, the scant tourist crowds of a midweek day blending in seamlessly with the lack of traffic in the "social drinking zone," a consequence of onerous COVID-era regulatory diktats crippling local restaurant revenue. 

Stepping into Gatsby's was like stepping back into the past - not only for its 1920s inspired decor, but also a slim reminder of a time before the rise of a petty gang of bureaucrats and regulators strangling freedom of commerce and prosperity, be they FDR or Gretchen Whitmer. 

Here is a review of onion rings from Gatsby's Seafood and Steakhouse in Bay City, Michigan . 

Presentation and Appearance: (2.5/5)

The onion rings arrived in a flattened black bowl with brown paper, which I found oddly appropriate for the intentionally cultivated atmosphere of a 1920s steakhouse. I know little of the cuisine from this time, but perhaps their onion rings were also known for inconsistent size and coloration, a haphazard mixture of darkened and shriveled rings laid with wild abandon among their larger, golden cousins. 

Despite the issues with size, the batter was fairly consistent, with the patchy elements split between the two species of onion ring. By appearance alone, it's unclear if the flaws of the onion rings are due to the poor execution of a frozen brand, or the unfortunate consequence of the hand-battering process. 

Taste: (4/5)

My first bite of an onion ring provided an immediate and shocking amount of rich, malty flavor, so much so that I was immediately convinced that they were not frozen. A closer read of the menu reveals these are "sweet onion rings dipped in malty beer batter," explaining the concentration of the malty flavor in the batter. Likewise, the batter is more sweet than savory, albeit lightly salted, a bold and fairly uncommon choice among onion rings. 

While the malty beer flavor goes well with the onion, the onion itself doesn't provide as much flavor, despite being sufficiently wet and juicy. I suspect that these onion rings were made with sweet onions, which usually lead to a less pronounced onion taste, perhaps as part of the general theme of sweet instead of savory. 

I have no idea what the accompanying dipping sauce is, with my top guesses being "ketchup," "cocktail sauce that's basically just ketchup," and "mystery sauce." For personal reasons (those reasons being "I hate ketchup"), I did not consume the onion rings with the sauce. 

Texture: (2/5)

Through some combination of factors - possibly including the beer batter, the cooked-through sweet onions, and the variate size of the rings - the onions in these onion rings were absurdly wet, almost sopping with every bite. The inconsistency of the batter - first soft, then crunchy - also brings these rings down a peg. 

If the sweetness of the rings speaks to any aspiration of a desert, the closest comparison I could think of would be an onion-flavored jelly-filled donut, except the jelly is made out of onions and the whole thing is soaked in beer. Would I eat that? Absolutely. Does that lead to the best textural sensation? No. 

Value: (2.5/5)

For $5.95, the amount of onion rings, and the handmade quality, are a reasonably good value. The unique flavor profile of the malt and the sweet onion, while somewhat lacking in onion taste, is a novel concept, which is worth trying. I think if the onion rings were of a more consistent size and cook time, they may have been a bit better, but the sweet onion is too mild to soar much higher. 

Total: (11/20)