After almost a year-and-a-half of petty and arbitrary tyranny, enforced by executive orders, health mandates emanating from the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (MDHHS), and other capricious means, the state of Michigan has finally started to approach something resembling freedom - or at least, meager steps towards a partial realization of freedom.
Though eating inside of a restaurant was occasionally legal over the past year and a half (flip flopping back and forth numerous times), something about the experience was profoundly off. Disconnected from my fellow diners, separated by distance and masks, with limited menus and limited service ruling the day. As such, I had largely shelved my onion ring reviewing.
With a new dawn rising in the Wolverine State, I felt a sudden surge of inspiration, adrenaline, and creativity that had long laid dormant inside my disquieted soul. After a refreshing dispersed camping trip on the banks of the Manistee River with The Wife, we decided to stop for lunch in the charming village of Fife Lake.
My eyes scanned the menu eagerly, daring to dream, until finally discovering that which I had long yearned for: onion rings.
Here is a review of onion rings from the Fife Lake Inn in Fife Lake, Michigan.
Presentation and Appearance: 3.5/5
Owing to a burgeoning health kick, I decided to forgo ordering an entirely separate order of onion rings with my meal, instead opting to upgrade it as a side As such, the onion rings arrived plated with my meal, slid between a pickle spear and a partially constructed pulled pork sandwich. The rings were arranged in a tasteful mound on the plain white plate, and varied widely in size.
The relatively uniform coating usually makes me think the onion rings are frozen, as did the consistent and pleasant golden brown coloring. However, the darkened bits interspersed throughout the batter, including some spectacular brown mountains of texture, does give me some pause. All in all, these are perfectly passable, though nothing spectacular.
Taste: 3.5/5
Perhaps my palate was primed by a weekend surrounded by bodies of water, first at the Manistee River and now overlooking Fife Lake, but my immediate first thought on biting into these onion rings was simply "wet."
My first bite, into one of the smaller rings, brought an impressive burst of wet onion juices. The onions were clearly cooked well, if a bit overdone, as much of the onion flavor resided in juice and grease rather than in the actual onion interior. Instead, the onions added a pleasant, almost buttery burst of flavor to the juice and the batter.
While I was initially unimpressed with the batter, it slowly grew on me. The batter is well salted, providing sufficient savory flavor to balance with the almost overpowering onslaught of the slightly sweetened onion. Ultimately, these onion rings have a good taste, but lack the depth of flavor necessary for truly excellent rings.
Texture: 4/5
While the softened onions gave the onion rings an immense amount of onion flavor, the resulting wetness hurt their texture somewhat. Most importantly, I believe it contributed to occasional slippage throughout the dish, leaving a thin and hollow casing of batter where a wriggling worm of onion once resided.
The batter is something of a marvel. It is simultaneously crunchy, soft, and structurally sound, which is something of an impossible trinity in the vast world of onion ring reviews, much like the significantly less complicated (and less relevant) impossible trinity in international monetary economics.
Moreover, the batter, absent the semi-frequent slippage, works beautifully with the onion. When combined, the two practically melt on the tongue, swirling together into a perplexing menagerie, the likes of which are rarely seen.
Value: 4/5
Typically, I gauge the value of onion rings based on their à la carte price. However, as these were a side, the price was significantly less, merely $2.99 for a satisfying side to my sandwich. The onion rings were fresh, fairly tasty, and not too expensive.
Though I'm still not convinced if these were frozen rings one way or the other (this batter is almost too good for this to be the case), I think they're a strong value either way.
Total: 15/20
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